


Reflections

by Seven2



Category: Black Mirror
Genre: Angst, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Post-Canon, Smut, Subtle Sexytime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 03:25:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15209834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seven2/pseuds/Seven2
Summary: Kelly's late night musings...





	Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work. Mad love to all of the other authors who inspired me to give this thing a go. <3

My lips still tingle from the warm press of hers.

The last time we kissed was maybe an hour ago. My wife’s body arching under mine, squeezing my fingers as she gasped her pleasure into my mouth. Slowly, she relaxed under me and pulled me to her chest tightly as if she was grounding herself against the waves of pleasure I knew were rolling through her. Staccato whispers of awe and adoration registered softly in my ear while my love enjoyed her afterglow. And when her breathing finally slowed and her grip gradually loosened, she pressed her lips against mine in a firm kiss that did not allow room for me to deny her fierce, eternal love and passionate devotion to me. As I smoothly moved to my side and she wrapped her long, gorgeous body around mine, I already knew she would be asleep in moments. But as she often does before she dozes off, Yorkie locked her electric blue eyes onto mine and told me silently that I am hers. I responded silently with my own eyes and told her that I love that shit. She smiled as she drifted into her dreamland.

Yorkie may have been new to so many human experiences, but she was a natural in the sack. I mean, seriously a goddess. The first night is still a bright, red-hot sexual memory for me, thanks to the cutting-edge recall technology of TCKR. In San Junipero, we can recall memories on demand if you’d like. I like, and I like to recall that night. I can see my wife’s sheepish grins, her flushed chest, feel her fingers wound in my hair as I pleased her for the first time, her wide eyes at the sight of my naked body, her low moans as she tasted me for the first time, her thirst for more and more and more….  
Yeah, I like. And I digress, maybe onto another subject before I wake Yorkie up for round three.

As I often do, I regard her in the light of the full moon through the open balcony door, drapes billowing. Yorkie rolls her eyes at many of my extravagant San Juniperan indulges like my bodacious subwoofers in my jeep or my personal waterbed in our reading nook. Things she does not judge: my fine ass custom stilettos for our dates in 2005, or my billowy curtains that welcomed her innocence into my arms, heart, and body that night.  
Nope, no judgment there, I laugh to myself and plant a soft kiss on my love’s forehead. She shifts slightly into me but does not wake. I continue my midnight musings.

TCKR’s San Junipero served as another level in the stages of life and death, which gives so many a second chance with people they love, miss, or otherwise. In my time here over the past six months, I’ve seen so much beauty. There have been families being reunited, childhood friends picking up where they left off before life separated them…its incredible. In my past life, I felt so much pressure. Pressure to succeed. Pressure to put my needs aside and be a mother. Pressure to work 40 hours a week and help support my family. Pressure to prepare for retirement. Pressure to be a good wife. Pressure not to let “temptation” aka my true self, ruin my life. Pressure to overcome the grief of losing my sweet Allison. Until it’s gone, I don’t believe that we can understand the detriment of pressure and the roads it sends us down. I often think about this concept and I wonder who any of us would have been simply without pressure? Coming to San Junipero and living my truth as a passionate open-minded woman lead me to my true love in weeks. Weeks! What would my 70+ years have been like had a made that choice when I was young? That thought sends a familiar pang of regret through my belly.

I know that I adored my family. Richard was the consummate gentleman, provider, and was loyal to me. I respected him and I greatly treasured his loyalty. Because of that, I was able to live a life as his wife even though my true self always buzzed under the surface like a low grade fever with no cure. I’ll be damned if guilt isn’t a hell of a drug. Allison was the only thing in my life I never felt guilty about. When she died, I grieved her potential and the loss of her future experiences of love and accomplishment. She was absolutely my world; someone who loved me and I loved her without sacrificing anything. I gave to her with all of my repressed and open love that I had to give. As a result, she was a kind, generous, vibrant person who I was so proud of. Being her mother was the joy of my life.  
In hindsight, I understand that it didn’t have to be to be that way. I didn’t have to sacrifice true love to be a mother. I let all the pressures in my life drive me into a pigeonhole with no light at the end. When Allison came, she was that light. And then she was gone all too soon. And then Richard was gone and I was alone with my grief, depression, and irreversible memories of regret. 

To this day, I believe that the constant intensity of lamenting my life decisions is where my cancer came from. And when death came calling, I ran straight toward it under the guise that it would be a relief. Turns out, death changed my life. The irony is ridiculous. San Junipero was to be my experimental stage before I planned to roll out of my burning rage/regret/despair-ridden existence. Then, the most beautiful angel was sitting in Tucker’s drinking a fucking coke and trying to hide behind her large glasses. I was so sick of regretting things that I’d started leaping into things I would never do. And something about Yorkie made me want to run right toward her, in that same vein. Literally. So I did. 

Who knew she was such a soft place to fall? Or that I could be so soft?

“When are you going to start sleeping with me?” Yorkie mumbles into my collarbone, interrupting my thoughts.

I giggle. “Baby, I’ve been sleeping with you for six months. Am I that forgettable?”

I feel her smile against my skin. “You’re stupid,” she giggles softly and smoothly slides her thigh between mine. Only Yorkie can call me a name and make me throb between my legs at the same time. Her breathing gradually softens and she’s off again. Man, do I love this woman.

So, the sleeping thing. My wife has been asking me to sleep with her for some time. As with pain/pleasure sliders, we also have control over the need to satisfy basic human needs like eating, sleeping, etc. There are no periods here or menopause, thank fucking goodness. Having lived a full life of the unpleasantness of the human condition, my first choices were to eliminate pain, maximize pleasure, and no need for basic functions. My sweet Yorkie however, spent so much time in a suspended existence that she has very minimal Experience Settings altered to differ from a natural life. She loves sweating after a workout as much as she loves eating a good meal. Her exuberance inspired me to match my settings to hers and I began to see life again though her. So now we share meals and both get tired after a long swim in the ocean. While I enjoy that, I haven’t activated the sleep feature since I first came to San Junipero. 

In the beginning, I didn’t need to sleep because as a tourist we had only five hours per week. So of course there was no time to sleep when my legs were those of a twenty year old and not a cancer-ridden elderly woman on oxygen. Seriously, nobody has time for sleep when there are so many songs to dance to or hills to cruise down in my 4x4 with the top off. But once I passed over and became full time with my soulmate, time slowed back down again. I wanted to savor every moment because somewhat like Yorkie, I did feel like I spent much of my life as a passenger. So sleeping hasn’t yet fit into how I am developing emotionally and internalizing my past and current lifetimes. I still cant grasp what the hell this forever shit even is. And I don’t yet have the words to verbalize my internal mess without making my sweet wife blame herself somehow. So I’ll be keeping this shit to myself for now.

I exhale slowly before I roll onto my back, my bicep pulling my wife with me. Without waking, her long leg slides up, and across my hips to rest against my lower abdomen. Even physically, she envelops my body with her intoxicating passion. I have never felt this way; I didn’t even know I was capable of such vulnerable equal love. I have always been very vocal and since I’ve met Yorkie, I realized that this was a defense mechanism to shield the open wound in my gut from longing for more. Even though she is less experienced that me and much more shy, Yorkie asserts her loyalty to me with a soft, quiet authority that is rooted in true love. I’ve never seen anything like this creature and I never want to be with anyone else. Her slightly possessive nature has always been something I avoided like the plague in my natural life with men. But with her…its intoxicating. But I’ll be damned if I ever tell her that, says my ever-fading alpha ego.

The last time we went to Tucker’s in 1971, I thought she was going to fight a woman who made the mistake of grabbing before speaking to me. Yorkie instantly became a lioness, standing between me and the woman and shouting a lecture on manners and keeping your hands to yourself at her. It was incredibly sexy for me; I’ve never felt such a lustful passion toward anyone for protecting me. Hell, I’d never been in a situation where I “needed” protection. In dramatic fashion, I stormed out of Tuckers with my wife following me, stammering out apologies and trying to keep up with my stomping boots around the corner. I finally let her catch up to me in the middle of an adjacent alley, where I pulled my wife close and devoured her lips with mine. I was on fire from the heat between my legs to the tingles in my scalp. This night was a first for me, dropping to my knees to please my protector with loud passerby bar-hopping less than twenty feet away…  
I take a long, shuddering breath as I vividly relive that memory. It is getting more and more difficult not to wake her and ask Yorkie to take me. Valuing her chosen experience of sleep though, I calm myself and will my body to remain still. 

“Do you want me?” she coos warmly. God, just her voice makes me melt. My body reignites at the realization that she can feel me so easily.  
I shift my head to look down at her and those eyes…so deep and full of adoration. I can’t look away. I don’t think I’ve ever been loved this much, by anyone I’ve ever dated or even Richard. And while Yorkie has started allowing me to ogle/regard her more often, but she still is quite shy when it comes to me getting lost in her beauty. Her soft smile and subtle dip of her heads are incredibly endearing.

“Always,” I breath, “I was just thinking about that night in the alley.” There is nothing I’ve ever wanted more than for her to make love to me, right now. Please baby, I say with my eyes.

Ever the good student, Yorkie reads me like a book. She rises to her knees above me and I get the luxury of seeing my wife’s lithe, sunkissed torso with those perfect fucking breasts dusted with freckles… I can’t resist, my hands are already sliding up her stomach to cup her perky roundness. She gasps and breathes in sharply as my fingers roll her soft pink nipples between them. Aroused confidence balloons in me as I give my love what she likes. I’m also very good in the sack and I love showing her how much I love to please her.

She pulls away gently and moves to the edge of the bed before gently pulling me with her, my legs dangling off the side. Under hooded eyes, I watch as my Yorkie slips off the bed to a kneeled position before me. A jolt of excitement courses between my legs as I realize what she is planning with that wide smile on her gorgeous lips. “Okay?” she asks, continuing to endear herself to me endlessly with her consideration for my comfort.  
“Fuck me baby,” I husk, in desperation for this experience with her. I am nearly incoherent with lust.

My wife’s eyes widen and her cheeks flush a deep red as she stands and slides her body up mine to kiss me passionately. I love the feeling of her body between my thighs and I rub my wetness against her stomach to let her feel what she done to me. Her lips and tongue massage mine and I fill my hands with her firm, round ass. I slip a hand between her legs to sample her arousal with my fingers. Yorkie moans loudly and I grin to myself internally in triumph. I so love my lover, I think as she pulls away with a coquettish grin and lowers herself back to her knees. My own low moan rumbles from my chest as she lightly grips behind my knees and pulls me closer to her. Fuck yeah, I tell her with my eyes. She says the same with hers and I feel myself clench inside with arousal.

In the grips of exciting suspense, I fold my arms behind my neck while my wife begins to please me. The blinds still flutter softly over our bed and I can see everything under the illumination of the San Junipero moon. I leisurely, shamelessly begin to lift my hips to her and the silk sheets crease softly under my back. Oh yes, lover, I think to myself as the pleasure drifts over me. 

Who knew forever could be like this? I think dreamily, my lips still tingling from her kiss.


End file.
